When all looks hopeless, it probably is...

Sooooo I seriously haven't posted in this thing in like forever.

I graduated in May of '08 and STILL haven't been able to find that stable "real" job. I'm a substitute teacher right now, which i'm enjoying, but it doesn't give me a reliable schedule or steady income. I work only when there are jobs, and there are days where I don't get called AT ALL. It would be pretty good money if I worked everyday, but so far I haven't. Although I will say, I started in Oct, and I've already made MORE money working as a sub in the what? 2 months i've been working, than I did working at Cold stone and Aero (a combined 1.5 years!). Crazy.

I also haven't been able to find a full-time job yet, although I can be hired. A lot of the principals want teachers who already have experience, which I can understand, but damn how am I suppose to get that experience if no one will hire me. I reeeeeally wanted this job at Richardson Middle school as a Speech Combo teacher. I know it's middle school and i def DID NOT want to teach it, but I soooo want to do speech. Apparently I was not eligible to interview for the job, b/c I am qualified to teach HS speech, not middle school speech. WTF kind of crap is that? Shouldn't it be a good thing if i can teach HS? So they said "well you are qualified to interview for the Alternative position." HELL TO THE NO! For those who don't know, the alternative program is where all the "bad" kids go. They get caught doing something illegal, get in fights, or whatever, they get sent to alternative. Am I qualified to teach alternative? Academically, sure. But there is no way in hell i have the personality to do that. Those kids would have me cryin on the first day.

I've applied to 3/4 elementary schools before the break, and nothing. I keep forgetting to call and inquire, but shit I don't wanna hear that they already interviewed people or whatever. I'm so tired of feeling like a failure, it's ridiculous. Now I know how my brother felt when he got his degree and it took him 2 years to find a job. Damn it. And it's not like I can even look for a job outside the city like he did. Sure, if I don't wanna do teaching I can, but i'm in the stupid alternative certification program which will go on until next october. I already paid the damn money i don't wanna just drop out!

Plus i wanna move out. My mom is getting on my last nerve. I love her and all, but shit i'm 24 effing years old and she still treats me like i'm 14. If I go out with friends, I gotta hear her bitch about how I come home really late (oh wow, 2 am) and how I should be home by midnight. What the fuck ever. I don't do drugs, i'm not having sex and i barely drink, she shouldn't have anything to worry about. I just wanna move out, date and just be able to do whatever I want without her breathing down my neck.